Maternity Leave

Hello! We are still alive! Things are happening and time is flying.

Can you believe that Alice is 23 weeks old already? She is chattering up a storm, rolling over when she feels like it, reading books, standing upright, grabbing whatever she can get her hands on (neck folds are not excluded), and putting everything she can into her mouth (neck folds are not excluded). Her favorite game is blowing raspberries on my shoulder while I'm holding her. She also started daycare, and that is going...let's just saying it's happening and I am keeping my options open.

She's small like her brother: 10-20th percentile in weight, 50-75th in height. She nurses 5-6 times a day, goes to bed around 6:30pm, and generally sleeps until at least 5:30am. Sometimes she wakes up for a little dream feed around 10:00pm, but you never can predict these things. She's so sweet and so cute, and sometimes it feels like my eyes are going crossed because I'm staring at her so much.

I will say that things have to be a lot more structured now that Alice is getting older. She doesn't really sleep through things anymore, so taking a trip to Hobby Lobby with a sleeping baby is no longer in the cards. That baby needs her 3-4 solid naps a day, or evenings are rough. Outings with the nap schedule are easiest when we venture out first thing in the morning during her first nap because she sleeps best during that one. For now.

All things considered, life has been good. Maternity leave was a dream, just as it was with Everett. This time around was a bit more challenging because I had a toddler ruining the baby bliss on a regular basis. He is the best big brother around, but man does he push our buttons sometimes. And I get it, parents are controlling tyrants. I remember pushing limits at that age, too. What I cannot empathize with him on is becoming an older sibling, as I am the youngest of 5. He must feel so scared and alone, and honestly his behavior began to take a turn for the better when I started making more of an effort to acknowledge him on his level - more often than not this means me getting on the floor and playing trucks with him. I've been planning activities for just the two of us, and that has been good for everyone. We leave our little one-on-one dates when he asks, "Can we go get baby sister now?" Does it get any cuter than that?


We have had many devastating things happen in the last few months, and I guess I've not written here in a while because it was just one more thing. I was saving a lot of content from when I was pregnant to post here, then I lost it ALL. Once the baby was born I had to focus on our wonderful family, and taking out a computer to write seemed like it was getting in the way of that.

But here we are now! I have many projects up my sleeve that I want to share in detail here (we will see if that happens), and there were a few I posted about on Instagram (baby bonnets, quilts, doggie bandanas, etc.). Hopefully I can muster up the energy to start sharing on this space again. Keeping all the fingers crossed!

So...here's my life from the former side of maternity leave. Take me back to those days!

1 Month Old

So here we are, almost 2 months after Alice was born, and I'm just now posting about her first month of life. She is truly the sweetest baby, and a very dangerous baby to have around, as she is tempting me to want more sweet babies! She sleeps well, eats well, and goes with the flow.

In her first month of life she was a very sleepy newborn, almost to the point where I wondered if there was something wrong. But she is now awake and alert, cooing, smiling, and singing like the sweetest little thing. She has been a bit cranky these last 2 days, but I am blaming that on the cold she inherited from her brother. Alice, I too am cranky when I can't breathe.

But back to her first month. Our pediatrician scheduled Alice's first checkup for 2 days after she was born. At that appointment I was reminded of all the stressful things that come with breastfeeding a newborn. When we walked into the clinic, the Enfamil representative was dropping off formula samples and catered lunch. When we were escorted back to the examine room, we discovered Alice lost 9% of her birth weight. The doctor made this seem dangerous and handed us a shit-ton of formula, saying we had to supplement after every nursing session. Having been through this before, I nodded and smiled. The Enfamil rep beamed when she saw us leaving with our hands full. But now we know that supplementing AT ALL in the beginning of a baby's life is the best way to ensure your baby will not want to nurse. We immediately gave the formula away after the appointment. This happened on a Friday, and the doctor told us to come back Monday.

Over that weekend we nursed, and nursed, then nursed some more. We opened up all the blinds and sat in the sunshine. My milk came in. We snuggled. We slept.

By our checkup that Monday, she was back to her birth weight. Because nature is badass.The doctor asked how much we supplemented, and I answered, "Well, to be honest, we thought that 2 days after she was born was a little early to be concerned about my milk not coming in, so we decided to wait it out." She was a little taken aback, but someone has to stick up for breastfeeding! We love our pediatrician, but MAN they have the worst advice for breastfeeding moms.

At her 1 month checkup her stats were -

Height: 21.5 inches (75%)
Weight: 8 lbs 9 oz (50%)
Head: 36 (50%)
Nursing: about 9 times a day, every 2-3 hours during the day, and she averaged 4 hours between feedings every night, which was very doable.
Sleep: she would only sleep on my chest for the first 3 weeks, which I didn't mind because I loved cuddling with her. In fact, my body had a hard time adjusting to her being outside, so she helped regulate my temperature a bit. At night I would prop myself up with pillows and create barriers around myself so I wouldn't roll over while she snuggled on my chest.
Clothes: she fits mostly newborn and some 3 month outfits by the end of the month.

We finally got her to lay down for naps/bedtime...on her tummy. I know it's bad! She would sleep for 4 hours straight on her tummy, compared to 20 minutes on her back. Every time we put her on her back she started acting like she was drowning. I kept a close eye on her when she was on her tummy though.

She didn't cry often, but when she did her little newborn cry sounded just like a goose.

Her eyes still haven't decided what color they want to be. They are a deep emerald blue like my mom's, but they have a dark shade. I think they will end up brown, but not quite as dark as Everett's.

Speaking of Everett, he is an amazing big brother. He shows off his little sister to everyone (including the drive thru worker at Starbucks earlier today). He especially likes to show her off to his friends at school: "Come on everyone! Come see my baby sister! Come say 'Hi' to her!" I honestly think that becoming a big brother has given him more confidence. He has a great intuition, and can truly anticipate her needs.

Everett likes to snuggle with Alice before he goes to bed, and always gives her a hug and kiss when he leaves for school. Today, he wanted to sit in the shopping cart so he could hold her hand. Sometimes his love is a little inconvenient (like when he holds her hand in the shopping cart and wakes her up), but I try not to get frustrated because I don't want him to feel any negativity when he is loving toward her. When he asks if he can hold her, I always say yes, even if the timing doesn't seem right.

I pinch myself every day and wonder how I got so lucky. Seriously, what did I do in a past life to have such a wonderful one now?

Alice Violet {Birth Story}

It is hard to believe almost a month has gone by since our little girl was born. I have had plenty of time to write about our new lives, but I have been cuddling with her as much as possible during this sweet and fleeting phase.

And here she is: 

Alice Violet Wirth
Born February 24th, 2016

7 lbs 8 oz

19.5"

And she is absolutely perfect.

Jeff took some time off work on my due date (February 23rd) to take care of some last minute errands. He had the snow tires removed, got our brakes fixed, went grocery shopping, and took my phone to Batteries Plus to get the screen (that they broke) fixed. He stopped by my work to pick up my phone and grab a quick cup of coffee with me, and I snapped a picture of myself in the bathroom mirror to document the bump on my due date. This was the last I saw of my phone. Unfortunately, Batteries Plus ended up simply breaking my phone, and I lost all my pictures and videos from the last year. I spiraled into a hormonal frenzy, and I just knew that I would go into labor that night. When I was leaving work I felt the baby drop, and I had a hard time walking to my car with all the pressure on my pelvis.

That night I woke up at about 3:30am with intense contractions. I grabbed Jeff's phone and started playing Angry Birds to see if the contractions would go away, as they usually do. Turns out Angry Birds is a little stressful, so I put down the phone and checked my iPad to see if iCloud had backed up my most recent photos. It did, so I put my 40 week bump from my bathroom shot the day before on Instagram, then started timing contractions.

I had been contracting every night for about a week. Those contractions were semi-regular, lasting about 1 minute, and they averaged around 5-6 minutes apart. They were strong enough to take my breath away, but not nearly as strong as the ones I was feeling now. After 30 minutes of regular 30 second contractions every 3 minutes, I got out of bed and hopped in the shower. Jeff timed the contractions for me and called the hospital when I started bleeding after about 5 minutes in the shower.

I called my dad to come watch Everett. While we waited for him to arrive I got dressed, cleaned the house a little (I was such a wreck from the phone debacle that we left the house in a mess when we went to bed), packed a few miscellaneous items, finished filling out my hospital admit forms, found free hypnobirthing mp3's on Jeff's phone so they were ready to go, and had a quick snack (Jeff made himself eggs, hashbrowns, and sausage). After my dad arrived, we hopped in the car and had a relaxing drive across town to the hospital (compared to the last time when I was screaming at every pothole we hit).

I was anxious to get into a hospital suite so I could labor in the tub, but the nurses insisted on monitoring me in triage for 30 minutes before officially checking me in. They hooked me up to contraction and fetal heart rate monitors, insisting I labor flat on my back during that time so they could make sure the baby was okay. After being on the monitor - and my back - for 45 minutes they finally came back. In that time I had progressed from 4 cm to 5.5 cm. They hinted that I wasn't really in labor, and mentioned me possibly going home, to which I responded that I was 100% certain I was in labor. They left me in the little room for another 45 minutes, and I made the most of my time there by listening to the hypnobirthing tracks, walking around, using the bathroom, reading a book. My mom finally intervened and made the nurses check me in.

I was escorted into a GIANT labor and delivery room at Holy Family Hospital, and a new nurse was assigned to me. She was required to hook me up to the monitors again, and my heart sank a little. I knew from experience that this labor would go from 0 to 60, and I at least wanted a chance to deliver standing or kneeling, not glued on my back like I was with Everett. Of course, I was open minded about the way things would turn out, but I didn't want the hospital's procedures to derail my plans again. I asked if I could sit up, stand up, lay on my side while being monitored. Anything but on my back! Her response was, "Of course! I hate it how many women labor flat on their backs." An angel was sent to me! After a few minutes I could feel the contractions becoming stronger, and I asked if I could get in the tub. My awesome nurse agreed that those 15 minutes on the monitor had been enough. She showed Jeff how to fill up the tub, and I was in!

I cannot tell you how wonderful that water felt. It was the perfect warmth, and I felt every muscle in my body relax - including my uterus. I turned on another hypnobirthing track.

Then I was banshee screaming. I have NO idea what I was yelling, but my inner voice was saying, "You need to settle down. People can hear you." I was having one contraction on top of the next, and I could slowly feel a human head coming down the birthing canal. A flurry of nurses ran into the room and told me to get out of the tub and back into the bed.

"I CAN'T! THERE'S A BABY COMING!"

"It's okay. Just wait for the contraction to stop and we will get you out."

"IT'S NOT STOPPING! IT'S RIIIGHT THERE. THERE'S A BABY!"

"Okay, let me just check you...AAAAND SHE'S CROWNING! WHERE'S THE DOCTOR? PREPARE FOR DELIVERY!" Aside to the other nurses, "I don't think the doctor is going to get here in time. We might have to do it."

The nurses drained the tub quickly, stood me up, and had me shift my body slightly to the side so they could catch her. There were people crowded in the bathroom and I could see Jeff with a shocked expression on his face stuck on the other side of a barrier of health professionals. At the last minute I heard, "Emily, it's Dr. Fine. I'm going to deliver your baby now. Give me one push."

And she was out. The umbilical cord was wrapped pretty tightly around her neck so they had to rush her off, but before they did I got to see her screaming face. She looked exactly like Everett. Only covered in goop.

Below me was a mess of blood, water, and meconium, and dangling between my legs was an umbilical cord with a pair of scissors attached to the end. The doctor asked me to climb out of the tub to deliver the placenta, and I stood there awkwardly watching the scissors tick-tock between my thighs. "Ummmm."

Being in the tub for delivery was against the official rules, but it was nice because I could rinse all the "stuff" off my legs, and all the birthing grossness just washed down the drain. No cleanup required! And because I wasn't pushing the baby out, but instead contracting her downward naturally, I had very little birth trauma and was able to (awkwardly holding up my umbilical cord and the scissors with a towel) climb out of the tub and back to the bed with very little discomfort. 

Everett came to visit us in the hospital a few hours later and it was love at first sight. Being a big brother has been an adjustment for him, but he is such a good big brother. I am so proud of him.

His observations were that she was soft and fuzzy.

It took us over 24 hours to agree on her name. Jeff was set on Alice Mae, but I was set on Violet Mae. Obviously we compromised by dropping Mae and combining the two. 

Overall, our experience with the hospital birth this time around was 100% better than with Everett. Our angel nurse was incredibly supportive and knowledgeable when it came to breastfeeding, and the hospital has adopted new practices that are better for the baby - such as delaying the baby's first bath, and letting the baby nurse/cuddle rather than introducing a pacifier during the invasive hearing and PKU tests. AND my stomach only got kneaded ONCE! (They did it every 15 minutes with Everett.) My nurse found the practice completely unnecessary, so she didn't do it. They still use pitocin to deliver the placenta, but apparently that can't be helped. Fortunately, I know better from my last experience and questioned everything the nurses did, so was only offered a few drips of pitocin.

Having birthed on my back with Everett, I highly recommend standing to anyone interested in having an easy, natural delivery. My recovery was much faster this time, and I did not destroy my muscles by pushing, as gravity helped the baby naturally move downward. What does this mean? I actually have bladder control this time around and am not peeing my pants every 30 minutes! Also, hypnobirthing. I credit my speedy deliveries to the relaxation techniques taught by this method. 

For those wondering, here is what it looks like to be in natural labor using hypnobirthing techniques:

Here is what labor looks like on pitocin without an epidural:

I could barely think straight because I was in so much pain. And that was a small dose.

I came to find out later that the nurses only officially checked me into the hospital because of my insistence. Apparently the doctor was just going to induce me around 8:00 or 9:00. They did not think I was in labor because I was so calm through my contractions, but this is because labor is much easier if you breathe deeply (thanks yoga!) and relax.

And once the drugs wore off we were in hog heaven. 

And now we are home soaking up all the sweet baby snuggles.

Because her birth was so fast and furious, she did have some bruising, as well as a popped blood vessel in her eye. That has healed now, and she is officially flawless. 

38 Weeks Pregnant

I'm sitting here timing contractions and eating yogurt.

How do I feel?
Although this pregnancy journey has not been an easy one, I still have fears over what will come in the Beyond. It feels like this baby has been sucking the life out of me for 9 months, but I am not sure if having a newborn is easier/better than 1) not being able to lift my legs higher than 3 inches, 2) peeing my pants, 3) having heartburn so severe that I have bile in my mouth on a regular basis, 4) having swollen and numb extremities, 5) so many more disgusting complaints that it would be impossible to list all of them. My body is ready to NOT BE PREGNANT, but I also know that a baby will throw our lives into complete chaos. So, the body is there but the heart is not.

Please send positive vibes my way. These ankles could use all the loving thoughts and prayers you have to offer.

Speaking of ankles, I went to the Davenport Spa and got an amazing prenatal massage from their therapist Jill. It was one of the more heavenly experiences I've had. She rubbed my cankles so hard, and the swelling temporarily went down. I could use more Jill in my life.

Also, can I just say that we have the sweetest son in the whole world? I have a lot of mom guilt that I can't give him the attention I was once able to - such as playing cars/puzzles on the floor, dancing, and taking long walks. However, he has been such a trooper. He holds my hands to help me get up, and he rubs my back when he sees I am in pain. I hope every parent is as lucky as we are, because he is such a bright light in this world.

Weight gain?
38 lbs. 

Food cravings?
Milkshakes in any flavor.

Food aversions?
The smell of alcoholic beverages makes me feel nauseous. Not a food aversion per se, but body odor is completely disgusting to me right now.

Sleep?
Good and bad. I was averaging 4 hours a night for a while. The other night I finally pulled out the hypnobirthing CD and got myself back into a deep slumber. Sleep has been easier since then. I needed that reminder to put myself into a meditative state when falling asleep.

Movement?
I am still feeling movement, but it is not as intense. I'm thinking baby is running out of room. To compensate, my hips have gotten even wider. I did not think this was possible. My hips are basically killing me because of this.

Stretch marks?
Nope.

Bellybutton?
Innie and bursting at the seams.

Sex?
Pink.

Pregnancy is not kind to me. I feel like I've been robbed of all the wonderful pregnancy experiences some women have. As much as I want to have more kids, Jeff and I agree that we may need to throw in the towel after this one. I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but the day after I found out I was pregnant I broke out into hives and my eyes were swollen shut. This was the beginning of the next 9 months. The nausea started shortly after that, followed by severe SPD. Debilitating heartburn soon followed. Thank goodness my emotions have been okay. It's hard to lose my body and everything it was once capable of, but I continue to cope and I'm excited to get back more physical pieces of myself.

Baby Girl Nursery

Well, I finally did it. Besides needing to plug in the wipes warmer, the nursery is DONE.

I feel like I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. I put off this nursery project for WAY too long because 1) #secondchild, and 2) sometimes it takes a while for me to get inspired, especially when I'm not feeling my finest.

Remember how the room used to look like this?

I am happy to report that things are sanded, painted, moved, and nested! 

The walls were updated to Benjamin Moore Halo (mixed by Sherwin Williams because the BM store was closed and I needed paint THAT DAY). My mom helped me touch up Everett's old crib (that I found for $15 at a garage sale) with the same paint color we used on it for Everett's nursery: Valspar Gray Silt. The trim, doors, and baseboards were all repainted in Sherwin Williams's basic white trim paint. The ceilings were painted with Sherwin Williams Harmony (no VOC) in plain white. 

This will be my work space when I am telecommuting on maternity leave. The Alice in Wonderland calendar is from Rifle Paper Company. I always splurge and get something from the online store on Cyber Monday.

Everett had a good time helping us put this all together. He knew we were working while he slept, and each time he woke up he'd open the door and ask, "How does it look?" His favorite part was cleaning up his old crib. I had my bucket, and he had his. I want to remember these moments with just the two of us forever. He is such a great kiddo, and is going to be a really helpful big brother.

Back to the nursery. Clearly we need a little more decor. I am working on a mobile for the crib (Everett helped me get the supplies last night), and brainstorming art to put above the changing table.

I painted the desk (Target) and changing table (garage sale) with Annie Sloan Chalk Paint in Pure White. I can't say I loved working with the chalk paint, but it did the job. Now hopefully it won't chip/scratch because, as it turns out, chalk paint is chalky. I don't know why so many people go crazy over the stuff, but oh well.

The linens in the room are from Land of Nod. I just loved their Well Nested bedding, and the sheep on the changing pad cover caught my eye when we visited the store.

I think the room is officially ready for baby to come. Tonight's goals: packing hospital bags, sanitizing breast pump and parts, and making a dinner that is more complex than frozen pizza. 

It feels so good to go from this...

...to this...

We still need a bookshelf for the room, but we already know what we want, so we'll be making a trip to Ikea next time we visit family in Portland. Also, I definitely didn't make the crib skirt; my mom bought us one. I didn't want anyone thinking I had time for that task.

Special thanks to my MIL for coming all the way to Spokane to help me get things in order. It's because of her that we were able to finish the tough painting jobs and have enough clothes for a messy newborn.

The nugget just woke up from his nap, so it's time to go! 

Feeling Unprepared

Coordinating life to prepare for a second baby is much more challenging than with the first. Everett is such a good helper, which I love, but naturally his presence can be more of a hindrance than anything when a deadline is in place: February. Most of our prep work must then be done after he goes to bed, but after working a 9-hour shift while pregnant, I can tell you the last thing I want to be doing at 8pm is painting/laundry/planning. As a result, I have done a lot of hiding my head and pretending that things will eventually work themselves out. Not a good solution.

Last week my boss shut down work an hour early, and I danced (with a waddle) a victory dance out the door. A WHOLE HOUR TO MYSELF. To tackle this giant mess...

This is the nursery. Don't judge! I honestly wish I had a before picture from a few weeks ago, because it was even worse.We have managed to purge a couch, chest freezer, TV stand, old chandelier, and queen box spring, and now we are left with this. This room has been a catchall for months, so much of the setback has been from our organizing the rest of the house before facing the nursery design.

It is amazing what one can get accomplished in an hour, especially when it is during a period of the day that isn't plagued by heartburn. I wouldn't necessarily say I've made a New Year's resolution, but I have definitely been better about writing things down and making lists to organize my thoughts after the chaos of the holidays. Doing this helps me compartmentalize things, as well as prioritize, and pregnancy brain is a bit more controlled when there is a visual reminder. A whole hour last week gave me the chance to create a list, as well as begin a few of the more daunting items.

By setting realistic goals for myself ("I will accomplish 3 large tasks on my list over the weekend."), I finally feel like I can pull myself together to get things in place for when the baby comes. As we speak, car seat covers and baby clothes are being laundered. We have manged to blow through many of the projects on the to-do list, and we have managed to add many more. I call this progress. This weekend we plan to install the car seat bases, which blows my mind that we are at this point already. Soon we will be packing our bags and putting our contacts on 24/7 alert.

Baby is coming!

32 Weeks Pregnant

Pregnancy is a funny thing. Some women love it, some women hate it. 

Today I told myself I will no longer have heartburn, so this is the way it is going to be from now on. I'm hoping my body remembers the conversation we had, because we still have a long way to go.

I overheard a group of retired (read: old and creepy) men at church commenting on my pregnancy glow, and how beautiful pregnant women truly are (read: they were staring at my chest). The irony being that, at this exact moment, I was swallowing heartburn bile, wiping my bloody nose, suffering from a contraction that was radiating down my left leg, and trying not to cry after a woman suggested I was having twins. This last thing is a major blow. I don't remember it happening so much with my first pregnancy, but people continue to comment on how HUGE I am. I checked with the doctor, and he says I gained the exact amount of weight at this point in my first pregnancy. When I search Google for images, other women are the same size I am at 32 weeks. Why are people so insensitive in 2015-almost-2016? It's a bad, BAD time to be pregnant.

I am almost ashamed to post pictures of my side belly. Here I am. Getting over my shame. Please congratulate me and call me Woman. Also...my boobs could not get any bigger. Just putting it out there.

How do I feel?
I have good days and bad days. Even on the good days, I do not think my hips can possibly spread any further. My heartburn is excruciating, often waking me up in the middle of the night by implanting bile in my mouth. It's really fun. I especially enjoy feeling like I'm going to puke every time I bend over to pick up my son.

Weight gain?
26 lbs. Don't gasp. I didn't when I stepped on the scale.

Food cravings?
Avocados! Dairy seems to temporarily relieve the heartburn, so I sometimes sneak a couple scoops of ice cream before bed. I'll run it off after the baby comes.

Food aversions?
Peanut butter. It exacerbates the heartburn.

We had a cookie exchange at work the other day. Cookie exchanges are magical, except every single cookie is different, but they are all mingling together in the cookie jar, which means every cookie tastes like peppermint peanut butter. Hmmmm...I think I'll eat a cookie now - one that hasn't been tainted by "other" cookies.

Sleep?
I will usually wake up once during the night. To get back to sleep I pick up the iPad and read a book until I fall back asleep. No complaints here.

Movement?
Lots of movement! There seem to be a lot of elbow and knee thingamajigs.

Stretch marks?
Not yet.

Bellybutton?
Innie. I don't think this is going to change.

Sex?
It's a girl. :)

In conclusion, STOP CALLING ME FAT. Your mom's fat.