Monday, December 21, 2015

32 Weeks Pregnant

Pregnancy is a funny thing. Some women love it, some women hate it. 

Today I told myself I will no longer have heartburn, so this is the way it is going to be from now on. I'm hoping my body remembers the conversation we had, because we still have a long way to go.


I overheard a group of retired (read: old and creepy) men at church commenting on my pregnancy glow, and how beautiful pregnant women truly are (read: they were staring at my chest). The irony being that, at this exact moment, I was swallowing heartburn bile, wiping my bloody nose, suffering from a contraction that was radiating down my left leg, and trying not to cry after a woman suggested I was having twins. This last thing is a major blow. I don't remember it happening so much with my first pregnancy, but people continue to comment on how HUGE I am. I checked with the doctor, and he says I gained the exact amount of weight at this point in my first pregnancy. When I search Google for images, other women are the same size I am at 32 weeks. Why are people so insensitive in 2015-almost-2016? It's a bad, BAD time to be pregnant.

I am almost ashamed to post pictures of my side belly. Here I am. Getting over my shame. Please congratulate me and call me Woman. Also...my boobs could not get any bigger. Just putting it out there.



How do I feel?
I have good days and bad days. Even on the good days, I do not think my hips can possibly spread any further. My heartburn is excruciating, often waking me up in the middle of the night by implanting bile in my mouth. It's really fun. I especially enjoy feeling like I'm going to puke every time I bend over to pick up my son.

Weight gain?
26 lbs. Don't gasp. I didn't when I stepped on the scale.

Food cravings?
Avocados! Dairy seems to temporarily relieve the heartburn, so I sometimes sneak a couple scoops of ice cream before bed. I'll run it off after the baby comes.

Food aversions?
Peanut butter. It exacerbates the heartburn.

We had a cookie exchange at work the other day. Cookie exchanges are magical, except every single cookie is different, but they are all mingling together in the cookie jar, which means every cookie tastes like peppermint peanut butter. Hmmmm...I think I'll eat a cookie now - one that hasn't been tainted by "other" cookies.

Sleep?
I will usually wake up once during the night. To get back to sleep I pick up the iPad and read a book until I fall back asleep. No complaints here.

Movement?
Lots of movement! There seem to be a lot of elbow and knee thingamajigs.

Stretch marks?
Not yet.

Bellybutton?
Innie. I don't think this is going to change.

Sex?
It's a girl. :)

In conclusion, STOP CALLING ME FAT. Your mom's fat.
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