Friday, August 2, 2013

Living the Dream

Guys, I did it. I can finally die a happy, fulfilled individual. I MADE THE SOCIETY PAGES IN MEXICO!!!

And just in case it's too small for you to view on your iPhone, be comforted in the fact that my name is listed as Emely Jelly Wirth. Yup, Mexico loves me.

Last night, as I lay my bonnie head upon a soft pillow, cold washcloth draped over my tired eyes, I started smelling the most gawdawful stench. A skunk! I was hoping and praying that neither of my animals got the hit, when the smell morphed into the stench of disgusting, unfiltered cigarettes. I was finally ready to go mommy postal on my neighbor for blowing his sick smoke toward my baby's nursery yet again! Low and behold, enlightenment. I am starting to see a pattern here: every few nights around midnight I wake up to this smell combination. Come to think of it, the skunk smell goes away pretty fast. Faster than it should. Hmmm...maybe the skunk and cigarette smells are related?

My ladylike refinement and Catholic school education...

...may have made me a little naive. But I am slowly learning about the world. I can honestly say I have never partaken in any illegal or newly legal substances.

I have never consumed an alcoholic beverage...

But I think I know what's going on here. So, tell me friends, what is the best way to ask your neighbor to kindly blow his marijuana smoke the other direction? I am all for freedoms and rights, reasons and goals, but any sort of second hand smoke is probably not good for a baby. I'm the kind of mom who doesn't even let my 7-month-old eat pizza, let alone smoke a bowl vicariously through my neighbor. Am I being too paranoid, or do we need to have a friendtervention?


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