Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Hormones got me all nostalgic {17 Weeks}

It has been a crazy few weeks around these parts. It seems like we have a million projects to do around the house, and the to-do list mysteriously keeps getting longer.*  Knocking things off lists is challenging when pregnancy gives me troubles moving around.

*I tend to get a little OCD when pregnant, trying to nest the heck out of everything.

Toward the end of my pregnancy with Everett, I started developing severe pain in my hips, pelvis, and pubic bone area. I thought it was round ligament pain for a few weeks, then questioned this when I could not walk for 2 days after using an elliptical machine. Turns out I had symphysis pubis dysfunction, or SPD for short. The nurses and my doctor kept telling me it would get worse with every pregnancy, but I guess I thought I would be the exception. Well, I was wrong. At 10 weeks pregnant I was already having issues.

For me, SPD feels like the bones in my pelvic region cannot stay aligned properly, and that my pelvis is going to crack open any moment, spilling out the contents of my femininity. For now I am managing the pain as best I can by doing strengthening exercises *cough, Kegels*, and preparing myself mentally for when this baby starts gaining some substantial weight. Adductor exercises have helped the most so far.

- SHIRT: Hanna Andersson via Zulily - PANTS: GAP Maternity - SHOES: Birkenstock

How do I feel?
Like I want to cry every second of the day. I am so emotional right now, and the tiniest things will get me weepy. I am feeling exceptionally nostalgic. My mom was babysitting Everett over the summer, and she brought out all our old toys from when my siblings and I were young. As I watch E play with all the old cars that used to belong to my big brothers, I cannot help but get a little teary.

I have always been one to get attached to objects, to the point where my mom, sister, and husband have called me a hoarder. When I examine this behavior, I think it is probably due to my young age when my parents divorced. Our family split when I was 6, and nothing seemed permanent after that. Although I still saw both parents and all my siblings frequently, subconsciously I wanted to hold onto things that represented a period in my life when everything seemed normal and certain. After my young life was thrown into chaos, I often played with my brothers' Matchbox cars, clutched on to them dearly, thinking I was holding a part of them in my hands, even though they were no longer living with me and they distanced themselves to cope with our new family dynamic in their own way. Most people would want new, shiny toys that did not have chipping paint and missing parts, but I was happy with those old cars.

And now I see Everett doting over these same cars like they are the greatest treasures on earth. It makes me sad and happy to see, so I just cry a little over my confusing emotions.

Other pregnancy symptoms include bloody noses, frequent bathroom visits (caused by constant thirst), a bit of weird twinges in my spleen area, and forgetfulness (I was desperately searching for my car keys the other day and eventually found them in my hand).

Weight gain?
About 10-12 lbs. The average gain is 5 lbs for how far along I am, but a girl needs her doughnuts.

Food cravings?
I cannot stop thinking about Ultimate Bagel's snickerdoodle bagel with honey-almond cream cheese. Salivating! Additionally, I am all about the chai tea lattes right now. I know they have a little bit of caffeine, but everything in moderation.

Food aversions?
Anything that resembles or smells like lentils. Also, any form of bread that is overcooked, and the smell of burned bread makes me want to vomit.

Hello insomnia! And vivid dreams! I am not getting enough sleep these days, which makes me feel like a zombie by mid-morning. I have started making lists at night in an attempt to keep my brain empty, and this has definitely helped.

I am starting to feel little flutters! There's a creature moving around in there.

Stretch marks?
Not yet, but the belly is growing much faster this time, so I am sure they are coming.

Innie. I don't think this is going to change.

We found out the sex! However, the official anatomy ultrasound is in 2 weeks, so we are going to double check before making a big announcement. Because that's just embarrassing when people have to do that.

What have I learned?
Our family is going through a lot of adjustments: preparing for a new baby, starting Everett in a daycare, Everett missing his grandma as a result, and mentally getting ready to transition him from the crib to his big boy bed (no rush on this, as he's had enough changes for now). Part of my emotional state is simply from feeling overwhelmed; the hormones can also be blamed. I guess I am feeling all the feels, and it has been overwhelming these last couple weeks.

But don't worry! Now that I have vented I will be fine. It's really just too bad that I can't drink a bottle of wine to drown all these feels. Curse you pregnancy!

For fun, a belly comparison from 16 weeks. Baby 2 is on the left and Everett is on the right. 

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