Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Our Last Summer

It was a bittersweet feeling last week when we returned from our final vacation of the summer. I unpacked my clothes, started a load of laundry, and put my suitcase in storage for the first time since early June. Due to my inability to move, I spent a lot of my time away from home lounging in the sun like (I don't want to say beached whale...) an engorged mermaid. But even though I was not able to move about like my old self, it was wonderful to get some time with the ones I love. It's strange to think these trips will be among my last vacations sans children.

This weekend I did a lot of catching up on housework. I even mopped the floors twice out of necessity because they were so dirty from my sabbatical away from home. The house is finally starting to look normal, and things are falling into place as we prepare our home for the baby. I cannot express how good it feels to have time to keep up with household chores!

Looking back on our relationship, Jeff and I have done some pretty amazing things. We have traveled the world, checked items off our bucket lists, finished graduate school, and had a lot of freedom to do whatever. People say your life ends when you have a baby, that all your freedom goes away. In reality, it would have been smarter for us to save money for a couple years, then think about having kids. We could have finished our basement, put on an addition, or even bought a new house to get ready for our growing family. That way I wouldn't be forced to share a closet with my baby. If things had been different, we could have taken the trip to Rio de Janeiro we have been talking about. However, I can't seem to have any regrets about our change in circumstances. In the beginning of my pregnancy, I was scared about our upcoming life changes, but I was even more afraid of not having my life change. I looked ahead to all the trips we were planning for the summer, and it all seemed so empty and meaningless without life growing inside me. How could I not be pregnant when I visited family and friends, or when I went to Greenbluff to pick pumpkins and apples this fall? And how could I not have a baby this Christmas?

So when can one be sure they are ready to become a parent? Is it when you are financially stable? When you finally have a fenced yard with a swing set? When you are no longer afraid of giving birth? When you are finished with school? These are all hurdles I once believed I must jump before having children. However, I have come to believe the time is right when you are finally ready to make sacrifices for someone other than yourself, even if it means stepping outside your comfort zone (financially or otherwise). My friend, a mother of three, recently told me that you realize what your true passions and true relationships are when you have children. As nervous as it makes me to think I may never run another marathon, or I may never be invited to another kegger, I am excited for the changes ahead. What fun and thrilling new adventures we will share with our little one!

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